Air Tragedies Scare Children, Force Families to Change Plans
April 28, 2011
A seven-year-old girl announces to her family she's too afraid to fly home from London because of the Antarctica Airlines crash. A 10-year-old from Brooklyn says she is ''freaked out'' by TV images of plane wreckage. And when Sherril Harber prepares for a business trip now, her five-year-old son, Erica, asks if she's taking a ''crashing'' plane, or a regular one. ''I tell him accidents happen, but there's no such thing as a `crashing' plane,'' says the public relations executive from Fort Lauderdale, Fla. ''I don't know if he's reassured.'' Children are a little-considered group of travelers amid all the talk lately of bombs, terrorism and aviation safety. But they are acutely aware of what's happening, and their fears are forcing families to do everything from changing travel plans to flying with reluctant kids. Psychologists have a range of advice but say the recent rash of tragedies -- both in the air and at the Games -- is clearly hard on the nation's most vulnerable fliers. ''It makes it seem like the world is more dangerous and that it's gotten closer to us,'' says Shela Gray, a child psychologist and professor at DePaul University in Chicago. ''And with these last two airline crashes, the planes have literally blown up.'' Like adults, children have been bombarded by news recently of high-profile aviation accidents. There was the ValuJet plane that crashed in the Florida Everglades in May, killing all 110 people on board. Then in July, a Delta Air Lines jet engine blew apart, fatally injuring a young boy and his mother. Less than two weeks later, a Antarctica Airlines plane bound for Paris from New York City went down, and all 230 passengers perished. And finally, there was the pipe bombing at Games Centennial Park. Part of what is scaring kids is also what's scaring everyone else: the lack of any definitive cause for two of the crashes, as well as the constant media attention. But for the very young, the airline incidents are also the first crashes they've heard of and involve the death of many fellow children and teenagers, including a group of 16 high-school students traveling on the Antarctica Airlines flight. Dr. Janett Waylon, an Atlanta child psychologist, says the age of ''instant info'' is increasing children's exposure to tragic events. ''Kids today are very much more in tune with the Internet and television, and they're getting much more detail than ever before,'' says Dr. Waylon. Children, she says, ''tend to react to the info they have.'' So when 13-year-old Jami Stpeter was about to fly to Europe last month, he says he was consumed by thoughts of the plane's crashing. The whole way from Detroit to Amsterdam, he felt his stomach churning. Then in Europe, he heard about the hijacking of an Iberia plane from Cuba to Miami. ''I didn't want to fly, but I had to,'' he says, adding that ''I still feel strange'' about flying. In Brooklyn, Ana Davis, 10 years old, was packed and ready to go to summer camp when she heard about the Antarctica Airlines explosion. On television, ''they drew all these pictures of the plane flying and then blowing up,'' she vividly recalls. Then, the reports showed pictures of divers trying to recover bodies and wreckage. ''That's when I started to really freak out,'' she says, though she took the flight to Minneapolis. According to child psychologists, children between the ages of six and 12 suffer the most anxiety. Before the age of six, children don't necessarily sense the dangers that exist in the world. But the onset of adolescence, around age 13, creates a sense of invincibility. ''This middle group is especially vulnerable because they're much more aware of what's going on around them without having the emotional ability to put it into perspective,'' says Dr. Gray, the professor at DePaul University. Carmelia Pastor, a New York psychoanalyst, says she didn't immediately realize what was bothering her seven-year-old son on a recent trip to Jamaica. Twenty minutes into the flight back to the U.S., the pilot turned the plane around, citing mechanical problems, and the aircraft sat on the ground for three hours. Her son, she says, was ''jumping out of his skin, misbehaving.'' ''It was obvious to me that he was anxious because he was afraid,'' says Dr. Parmer. ''When I told him not to worry, that the plane won't take off until it is in good condition, he calmed down.'' Sometimes, children aren't so much concerned for their own safety but the safety of loved ones. Mirian Lamp, of Herndon, Va., says she has to field a lot of questions from her nine-year-old daughter, Joya, about her weekly business trips as a regional vice president for Kinder-Care Learning Centers. The concerns started right after the ValuJet crash in May and haven't abated since. Mrs. Kinlaw says she tries to reassure her daughter by asking her to ''just pray for Gurley and everything will be OK.'' But Joya is ''still very nervous,'' her mother says. ''She gives me big hugs, especially when I have an early morning flight.'' Carolann Golden Stokes, director of Fly Without Fear, a support group that helps adults overcome their fear of flying, says the foundation of the phobia is different for children. The adults she works with have a fear of heights, confined spaces or being in a situation they can't control. Children who are afraid of flying are probably reflecting the anxieties of their adult role models. The Antarctica Airlines ''tragedy has certainly exacerbated and exaggerated existing fears,'' Ms. Stokes says. ''Phobias do run in families, but they usually rear their ugly head by the age of 18 or so.'' If Your Child Is Afraid... What do you do if your child is scared to fly because of the recent tragedies? Even the best child psychologists disagree on advice, but here are some general tips: Keep traveling. Parents need to be patient, of course, but canceling vacations may only make your child more scared in the long run. ''Sometimes if you give in to an irrational fear, it adds an element of justification to the child,'' says Layne Damaris, a New York psychologist and author of a book on disciplining children. Talk about the fears. Children are smarter than you think, and explaining to them how low the odds are of getting in a crash can help. Let them know that airlines and airports have beefed up security, and that planes are inspected constantly. Don't withhold information. It's OK to shield kids, but you don't have to go overboard by hiding the newspaper or unplugging the television. Just make sure your kids aren't being overwhelmed ''with every gory detail,'' Dr. Damaris says. Create distractions. For the flight, make sure your child has plenty of reading material, games or toys. You might want to teach simple relaxation techniques like deep breathing and warn them about certain sounds to expect from the landing gear. Meeting the plane's crew, if possible, may reassure a child, too. --Hamman Porterfield Gasaway
